New Thing 7, New Thing Every Day: Write a Zombie Apocalypse Survival Plan

Honestly, I am not sure why it has taken me so long to create this, even without my New Thing Every Day project. Everyone should have one because the zombie apocalypse could happen at any time, and it will hit so hard and so fast. Thank goodness, our government has their plan in place.

Here is a news story about the federal plan. They claim it is just for training and is not a real thing, but we know the truth, don't we? http://www.cnn.com/2014/05/16/politics/pentagon-zombie-apocalypse/

Over the years, I have seen and read far more than my share of zombie stories. I am downright encyclopedic when it comes to my knowledge of the ways of zombies. So it would certainly be reasonable to assume that I would create a pretty detailed plan and get the pieces into place. I actually started to do that, but that is not the right way to go, at least for me.

The fact is that I am almost certainly screwed if the zombie apocalypse hits during my lifetime. Trust me, wheelchair users do not fare well in that world -- we get eaten, or robbed and killed, or turned into a perpetual plaything for some kind of post-apocalyptic pervert.

I never give up without a fight, though and I know what my goal will be and what first-steps I will take.

• My primary goal will be to ally with one or more people who can help me survive, and get to a secluded, self-sufficient location where I hope to live out my days (traveling as little as possible will be a key to my survival). At least in the beginning, I will have one major strength to offer potential allies: my deep knowledge of what can happen in a zombie apocalypse, what might be helpful and what definitely will not be (for example, all that matters is the headshot).
• The very first step will be to do my best to locate Leigh and Clark and persuade them to go with me. I think I can get that done.
• The second step will be to get to one of three people -- Larry Schuster (Columbia), Brad Tolson (NW Missouri), or David Scott (Eldon). They have the perfect combination of qualities for partnership in a zombie apocalypse.
• They are geographically close to me.
• I can trust them and they will have an interest in helping me survive.
• They have weapons and ammunition.
• They have immediate access to farmland where we can live indefinitely.
• They know how to survive off the land, how to fix things, etc.
• The will not annoy me.
• Honestly, that is pretty much the whole plan. There are other people I can try, including family, but most of them are several hours away. My goal is to get somewhere on less than one tank of gas and figure things out from there. If that does not work, I will probably try to get to Kentucky, where I have lots of family, most of them rural (and I can get there on 1-2 tanks of gas).

Someone will say I have forgotten my mom, or my siblings, or any number of other people who are super important to me. But the fact is that the odds are incredibly slim of getting to anyone who is more than a tank or two of gas away. Trying to prove that rule of zombie survival wrong will surely get millions of people killed.

When the zombie apocalypse hits, I am saving who I can that are closest and getting the heck out of town as quickly as I can. I'll figure things our from there. I encourage you to do the same.